What does it mean to be shallow?

Like clockwork every few weeks or so I have an existential crisis about who I am. My father is an oncologist—cancer doctor, and he and my mother run a laboratory that everyday saves people’s lives. My sister does stem-cell research, and is going to medical school next fall. My boyfriend is working to save the planet through bio-fuels, and of my friends, two are teachers, one is a Marine, one is in the Navy, and one works in state politics.

Me, I like clothes. I love clothes. I love how you can completely change the world’s perception of you just by changing your outfit. I love coming up with new ways to wear a piece I own, and picking through thrift stores to rediscover old looks. I love sewing and designing things especially for me. I like to read about new developments in fashion. I like to be up to date on which companies are having success in this recession. I like to research their business strategies. I like to know who is going to fold, and who is able to expand even in a recession. I enjoy picking apart an ad campaign—reading between the lines to discover who has an excess in inventory and who just needs to get people into their stores. I like to guess what a given strategy is going to do to the overall image of a brand—whether the company is seeing the big picture and cares about longevity and not just about the sales it makes today. That this is my passion make me a shallow person?

Some days I think I should have taken the job researching apparel and footwear companies for investment purposes, but the problem is that I don’t want to be on the outside looking in. I want to be the one making the deals, making the fashion call, making the decision about the direction of the business. I want to lead the industry from the inside and not from the sidelines.

In the world we live in, first impressions are everything and nothing. They are nothing in that they are often wrong, but everything in that they can get you a job or shown the door, and seat on the bus, a husband and wife, a friend—and that they are the hardest impression to every change. Is wanting to work in an industry that has this power—really more power than any other (but this is a discussion for a later post) – shallow? Sure, I will never save anyone’s physical life, but what is life without happiness? And what if I can help people achieve more happiness through the clothes they wear? Is that shallow?